What lies ahead in 2008? A new president elected for the country, to be sure. A new presidential library settled, finally, for Dallas, in all likelihood. What else? Here are a few predictions of things to come:
1. City Council member Angela Hunt will:
(a.) be named head of the North Texas Tollway Authority;
(b.) have a lake along the Trinity named for her;
(c. ) return from her German Marshall Fellowship and, in time, seek a career in diplomacy;
(d.) move to New Orleans to save the Mississippi from excessive redevelopment.
2. Gov. Rick Perry will:
(a.) lead a round of keraoke with Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison at Billy Bob’s where he will endorse her as his successor;
(b. ) work to rewrite the Texas Constitution to abolish the Railroad Commission and turn all regulation of oil and gas over to the Texas Pacific Group;
(c.) grow frustrated with the remodeling of the governor’s mansion in Austin and accept Mike Huckabee’s invitation to live in Arkansas for the duration (there’s more than one way to hedge a bet);
(d.) explain to his supporters that he is backing Rudy Giuliani for president because of the latter’s inspiring sense of family.
3. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison will:
(a.) decline the invitation of Gov. Perry to appear with him at a benefit for the Coal-is-Hot Society at Billy Bob’s;
(b.) introduce innovative but unexpected science legislation in Washington;
(c.) establish a back channel to direct the redecoration of the governor’s mansion;
(d.) travel to Tehran to encourage women who aspire to public life there to cover their heads only with Hermes scarves as a gesture of independence and support for French President Nicolas Sarkozy who has been nice to U.S. Republicans.
4. The North Texas neighborhood about to burgeon will be:
(a.) Kessler Park in Oak Cliff because of its proximity to the Trinity project;
(b.) the area near Farmer’s Market, blooming along with the produce in stalls that are now quite spiffy;
(c.) the Arts District and Victory, harbingers of a new downtown Dallas;
(d.) McKinney, true north.
5. The president of the Bush Library will be:
(a.) Harriet Miers, a capable choice;
(b.) Karen Hughes, never far away;
(c.) Prime Minister Nuri Al-Maliki, anything to get him out of Iraq;
(d.) Prince Bandar bin Sultan, whose funds are needed for the project;
(e.) Lynn Cheney, from the indispensable family;
(f.) Paul Wolfowitz, who needs a full-time job;
(g.) John Bolton, for that “je ne sais quoi.”
6. Boone Pickens will:
(a.) join Patrick Jenevein in his wind-power venture in China;
(b.) give $200 million to the Confucian Institute at the University of Texas at Dallas, with the proviso that UTD allow exploratory mining for uranium on the campus (why not do nuclear too?);
(c.) demand a seat on the board of CNOOC (the China National Offshore Oil Corporation) in return for his help in acquiring Exxon-Mobil and taking a substantial position in the Barnett Shale gas field (on-shore, but why not?) ;
(d.) accept a secret offer to serve as Giuliani’s ambassador to Kazakhstan if elected (a good spot from which to pursue Caspian oil).
7. Terdema Ussery will:
(a.) launch a new show on HDNet called “Crazy for Dancing,” with Mark Cuban as host;
(b.) guide the Mavericks to a national championship;
(c.) lure Steve Nash back to the Mavs from Phoenix with the promise of a new Ferrari, a suite at the W and a permanent slot on Cuban’s show featuring the tango.
8. Tom Leppert will:
(a.) persuade Andy Fastow to move to Dallas to head a special commission on accommodations at the city jail;
(b.) join forces with Dan Branch to lobby the legislature to expunge all mention of Copernicus and Galileo from textbooks in Texas since the theory that the earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around is hardly settled science;
(c.) lead a move to name the third facility of the Performing Arts Center for Stanley Marcus;
(d.) join forces with Dan Branch, Phil Montgomery and Pauline Medrano to lobby the legislature to fund Uplift Education and other achieving charter schools in a way that is fair and equitable.
9. Dallas Fed president Richard Fisher will:
(a.) insist the interest rate be raised, gradually, to 5 per cent to combat inflation;
(b.) declare the end of economics;
(c.) become Secretary of Treasury under a Democratic president from Illinois (there are two);
(d.) learn to yodel.
10. Carol Reed and Rob Allyn will:
(a.) run Ron Kirk’s campaign for the U.S. Senate in 2012, using theme music, “The Second Time Around”;
(b.) pass a bond election to route the Trinity through downtown to create a River Walk like that in San Antonio;
(c.) run Vicente Fox for president of Venezuela once he has set up residency and joined the opposition to incumbent Hugo Chavez;
(d.) manage a quiet opinion-shaping campaign on immigration for the next occupant of the Oval Office.
Answers: 1-c; 2-d; 3-b; 4-all; 5-none; 6-a; 7-b; 8- c and d; 9-a; 10-d.